If you haven’t already seen the first part of my Top 10 Most Ridiculous Songs list, #10-6, you should check that out first.
I’d like to remind people again that these are all songs that I think are ridiculous, or unintentionally funny. These are by no means the top 10 worst songs I’ve heard. I’m not sure how that list would go. Would it be 9 Katy Perry songs and 1 Foo Fighters song, or 9 Foo Fighter songs and one Katy Perry song? Or a mix of both? But where would Maroon 5 fit in?
Anyways, here’s the top 5 most ridiculous songs.
#5, The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, by Leonard Nimoy
Earlier William Shatner’s Rocket Man was on the last, but he was outdone in terms of ridiculousness by another Star Trek alum, Leonard Nimoy, singing about Bilbo Baggins (from The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit). If there’s any trekkies reading this, did any other Star Trek stars try to have music careers? Is there a video somewhere of George Takei singing My Funny Valentine or Patrick Stewart singing Achy Breaky Heart, or anything along those lines?
#4, Ticket, by Big Audio Dynamite
To be honest, I actually like Big Audio Dynamite, but I can never wrap my head around this song. It’s not just Don Letts’ reggae-rap that cracks me up, but also the combination of arena-style electronic drums with a synthesizer that kind of sounds like it’s playing Baby Elephant Walk.
#3 Ducks in the Hood, by Huey, Dewey, and Louis
This one takes me back. For some reason, when I was much younger, I was into CDs where cartoon characters sing popular songs. I owned Chipmunks: Friends in Low Places (country songs by Alvin and the Chipmunks), the Ren and Stimpy Christmas album (I wish I could find that again), The Simpsons Sing The Blues, but the most ridiculous one of all was Mickey Unrapped, an album Disney put out to cash in on hip-hop’s gaining popularity. This is another one I wish I could find (I’ve even looked through my attic for it). All of the songs are truly ridiculous, but none more so than Ducks in the Hood. First, remember how raunchy Eazy-E’s Boyz in the Hood song was? Plus, Boyz in the Hood was a serious film. So this song tames hip-hop, and makes light of poverty. So basically, Mickey Unrapped is to hip-hop what Chipmunk Punk is to punk.
#2 Scatman, by Scatman John
Does anyone remember this song? Out of all of the songs on this list, this one was the most popular, somehow selling millions of records worldwide. I can’t imagine ever listening to an entire album of Scatman John. Even getting through this one takes a lot out of me. There’s so much that’s ridiculous about it. First, the idea of taking the Jazz technique of scat and putting it into early 90s house music (I doubt this is what Louis Armstrong had in mind when he popularized the vocal style). Then there’s the fact that “scat” also means feces (the study of animal droppings is called scatology), and this guy’s calling himself “Scatman.” Then, if you listen closely, this song’s full of blandly life-affirming lyrics punctuated with weird lines like “While you’re still sleepin’ the saints are still weepin’ cause/ Things you call dead haven’t yet had the chance to be born.”
#1 Deepest Bluest, by L.L. Cool J
What makes Deepest Bluest the most ridiculous song I’ve heard? Many things. For one, it comes from one of the most ridiculously stupid films ever, Deep Blue Sea. For another, there’s lyrics like, “When your Titanic’s gonna sink, I’m the one you gonna meet.” Cool J also says he’s going to “eat your whole fam,” making him a rather Machiavellian shark. Oh, and not only will he “eat your fam” but he also “ate your ancestors.” Then there’s the gross bridge where he keeps saying “Take it deeper.” Then, there’s a small orchestra brought in to play a two-note riff over and over. But really, what makes this the #1 most ridiculous song for me is that in the chorus, if you listen closely, he’s saying “My hat is like a shark’s fin.” Originally, I thought he was saying “My hand is like a shark’s fin,” which at least makes some sense. Nope. He’s saying his hat is like a shark’s fin, but if you watch the video, he’s wearing this weird nylon beanie that looks nothing like a shark’s fin! So the song and video make no sense.
The fact that his hat looks nothing like a shark’s fin inspired me to make a parody video on youtube.
So there’s my top 10. Are there any songs I forgot? I’m sure there’s plenty of ridiculous songs/videos out there, and I’d like to hear them. So if I missed any, either put a youtube link in the comments box or just write down the title and I’ll try to listen/watch it.
Here’s some songs and videos that almost made the list:
Candy, by Will Smith
Fast forward to about 2 minutes into the song, and Will goes into an entire verse revolving around candy bar puns.
The Sacrilegous Scorn, by Dimmu Borgir
I’ll put a disclaimer first on this one. It is one of the most ridiculous songs/videos out there, but it’s also just awful. I mean, mind-numbingly stupid. I didn’t put it on the top ten because I couldn’t in good conscience have people watch it, but if you’re curious to see one of the worst things ever, watch this video.
Even Hitler had a Girlfriend, by Mr. T Experiment
I have to admit this is a pretty inspired song. It proves that Elvis Costello isn’t the only guy who can sing about Hitler (check out his song Two Little Hitlers).
Pet Cemetery, by The Ramones
I guess this proves that a lot of the most ridiculous songs out there come from the soundtracks of lousy films. This is a song The Ramones made for the Stephen King adaptation Pet Cemetary. I like this song to be honest.
–Read my book A Rapturous Occasion!
Go back to most ridiculous songs 10-6
Are there any more ridiculous songs I should know about?