New Gym Rules: #5) Stop Talking About Creatine, Cretin!

Gym Ettiquette From a Portly Observer

Let’s face it, it’s already hard enough to go to the gym, and harder still to go and not feel like a complete tool. That’s why I’d like to propose five rules to make the gym a more enjoyable place.

Rule 5: No one will be allowed to discuss what vitamin supplements they are taking.

The music at the gym is already terrible, does conversation have to be too? Every time I step in the locker room I have to listen to guys blather on endlessly about just how much protein they’re taking, or how often, or about the manifold positive effects that a cocktail of creatine and protein will give you, all with such pridefulness you’d assume they had just discovered the cure to Alzheimer’s. Today, it was even worse, as the guys not only discussed what time of day they swallow a dollop of powder, but what flavor they prefer. Is it so wrong that I want to get my protein the old fashioned way with a sandwich?

Guys, come on. It’s a slippery slope from talking about protein shakes to discussing what brand of wart cream really delivers or what size of vanity mirror is best to use when applying Preparation H. So let’s make a deal, you don’t tell me about what vitamins you ingest and I won’t lobby to make it legal only to sell protein supplements in suppository form. Until then, if you want to bore me to death by yammering about muscle pills, well, you know where to stick it.

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Check this site soon for my 4 other rules to follow at the gym!


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